Lost in Transfer - Culture Series #2

Click on link to read 1st part

https://hridayakamala.blogspot.com/2026/05/forefathers-gift-culture-series-1.html

   AI generated image

   Born in the mid eighties, I have sweet memories of watching TV programmes like Chitrahaar, Chitramala and Oliyum Oliyum in Doordarshan, along with my large family. Then, with the liberalisation of the Indian Economy came the cable TV. The first cable TV office in my city was set up in our locality when I was 7 years old; upon the service provider’s request my grandfather agreed to subscribe to a connection. A large dish antenna was set up in our terrace for uninterrupted signal so that we can watch TV programmes from across the globe….. but only American channels were available. Soon I got to watch series on Star TV - Bold and Beautiful, Santa Barbara, Baywatch, Beverly Hills et al. I learnt that there are people in this world who don’t live the way we do but lead great lives nevertheless. Since then, anytime my elders asked me to imbibe a habit or perform any ritual, I first wanted to know why. A generic answer like, “it is good for you”, “ it is our culture” or “ just obey your elders” never impressed me, upon further pestering they admitted that they don’t know the answers themself but simply follow the customs because it was advised to them/is a family tradition/ is for God. I became skeptical about mindlessly performing odd, elaborate rituals when the Americans were doing better than us without any of it. I gradually stopped paying heed and called out my culture for being superstitious. 

        The tables have turned for me since then but I see many of my peers/ seniors still harbour indifference, even contempt. Such is the case when the elders who are responsible for knowledge transfer did not (rather could not) do a thorough job yet judge/label you as defiant. When the otherwise loving elders are cross only when it comes to matters of culture and tradition, one becomes spiteful of it. 

       In my previous post I had written about how, despite going through trauma like loss of family/ wealth, subjugation, poverty and migration, the only thing that offered respite to our forefathers were the happy memories with loved ones involving rituals and celebrations. Deeper the impact, tighter the clutch. Recreating those happy moments with the available, left over family was probably their only way to feel safe and loved again, a coping mechanism at best. By questioning their efforts and refusing to participate, we must have hurt their emotions and appeared as a threat (however small) thereby triggering a mildly aggressive reaction. This is merely a gap in understanding.But before we could make time to try and bridge the gap modern education, movies, American tv channels and political agendas kept us busy with other distractions.

    In the game of Chinese Whisper/ Passing the Secret the players sit in a circle, one of them begins the game by whispering a word or a sentence into the ear of their neighbour, the subsequent players have to listen carefully and pass it on to the next player till the secret completes a full round and the last player announces the secret. If the communication happens correctly, the last player’s words will be the same as the one who began the chain. But most times the answer may be some gibberish because one or more players may have misunderstood, mispronounced or misheard the word - something that happens despite best efforts. What I find to be the most beautiful part of the game is that we stop to find out what the original word/sentence was, accept it as right and laugh at how we believed some other word to be the right one.

        Our approach to culture and traditions should also be the same. In case we dismissed it as obsolete or superstitious, let us understand that in all probability it was due to poor communication. It is important to stop and find out what things originally mean. What if it could enhance our lives in ways we never imagined? What if it removes the mental blocks we never knew we had? What if it could make us feel lighter at heart? We ought to find out!