Safe Online Behaviour

  This is a sample article that I had written for an organization's employee training course. I am posting this here because this is a topic that everyone can remind themselves about, especially the teens and tweens.

Our choice to do or not to do a certain activity depends on the effect it has on us. We do the things that make us feel good and beneficial for us; and we don’t do the things that can bring harm to our well being. When we ask whether spending time in social media is beneficial or harmful to us, we cannot answer in a simple ‘yes’ or ‘no’.

   Social media helps us connect with people anywhere in the world with just a click of button. Apps like Facebook, Whatsapp, Instagram etc. allows us to stay updated about the lives of our friends and family and vice versa. Having a good LinkedIn profile helps us network with people in our respective fields and tell them about our accomplishments/ capabilities. It is because of such comforts that Social Media has become an essential part of our lives.

    But we also get to see in the news about the irreversible damage in people’s lives caused by social media.  There are plenty of cases like the “Pollachi incident’, Infosys Swathi murder’ etc. Our lives will never be the same once we or our loved ones are affected this way. There is no doubt that it can be life threatening. So, should we stop indulging in social media altogether? Not really.

   Humans are social animals, it is in our nature to make connections with friends, family and expand our circle by making new relations. We want people to praise and appreciate us on our merits and place ourselves in a good level in the social hierarchy. The clear answer to how we should bring a balance to our social media engagement lies in our understanding of what exactly we want from it. Let’s analyze our actions and what it can lead to

 

·         Sharing Travel Plans/ Locations

 Telling people that you are at a certain place makes it clear that you won’t be home for a few hours/ days. This allows the perpetrators to go and harm your family members/ steal your belongings while you are away.

 If it is important to inform your whereabouts to someone, just send them a private message.

·         Accepting friend requests from unknown people

When friends of friends, colleagues and acquaintances send us friend requests, we accept it out of courtesy. Along with our friends, these people also get access to the thoughts and feelings we share in social media. They might spread unpleasant rumours and gossips about us. There is also the possibility of our pictures being downloaded and morphed into something undesirable.

 Do not accept the requests of people you don’t know personally, don’t worry about courtesy.  A sincere person will not mind if you reject their request.

·         Posting attractive pictures/selfies

Social Media gives any time access of your pictures to secret admirers and haters. They tend to form a mental relationship with you and believe that they have a right over you; some might even be extremely jealous that they might cause harm. It feels great to get likes and have many followers, but we are also exposing ourselves to potential trouble.

Except for some very minimal privacy options , your Whatsapp dp, status, Instagram posts and Facebook photos are accessible to everyone who is your friend or has your contact number. Not everyone dies at the hands of their secret admirer/hater, but why give a chance.  If we can learn to love and respect ourselves, we won’t need validation from others.

·         Distraction and Low Quality of Work

To do a job well, one needs to be completely focused in it. But when we stuff our free time and break time with interactions in social media, we end up doing substandard quality of work. The side effect of this will be felt at the time of promotion when your colleague gets promoted and you don’t; you will have no one but yourself to blame then.

Every job is important and needs to be done well, social media can wait.

·         Dissatisfaction and Depression

When we see the pictures of our friends and family in fashionable clothes, holidaying in amazing places, hanging out with popular people or achieving in their studies/ career; we gradually start comparing our lives with theirs and feel bad because we are not as cool as them. That feeling is too mild to notice but strong enough to affect our happiness. Regardless of our age, gender and position, many experience stress and depressed feelings because of this.  Likewise, the pictures we post can have the same effect on others.

10 year old Girls (10%) and Boys (7%) spend 1 hour a day on Social Media

15 year old Girls (43%) and Boys (31%) spend the same time on it.

They are reportedly suffering from lower levels of happiness and have social and emotional difficulties as they age.

Share pictures only with those who can be truly happy for you. Do whatever you need to make your life good and leave the rest to God.

·         Unlimited Freedom

In real life, we are always monitored by parents, other elders and friends/colleagues i.e. people who concerned about our well being. Such people will immediately let us know and stop us from getting into trouble. But our activities in social media is not accessible to anyone, it is not possible for elders to check on us all the time. At the surface of it, this freedom may seem very thrilling, we get to chat with popular people of our choice and build the life of our dreams. As you dig deeper, it also leaves you vulnerable to predators that are looking for innocent people just like you eg. Pollachi incident.  It is very wrong of the perpetrators to abuse the trust that the victims placed on them.  The Police and Court of Law will definitely catch and punish such wrong doers, but they can do so only and only after the incident happens. Because, just like you, it is impossible for judicial system also to know that someone is going to do something wrong.

  Before doing something, ask yourself this 1 question, “Will I be able to comfortably talk about my doings with my parents?” If the answer is ‘no’, then don’t do it.

 

         The knife that is used to perform a surgery and save lives can also be used to kill people, it all depends on the intention of the person holding it. The information we share about ourselves on Social Media is like the knife and the people who have access to it have the power to use it the way they want, we have no control once the information is out. Perpetrators always act as friends to first know us well; it is only after they harm us we get to see their true character. But, by then it is too late. The only thing we can control is –the information we share. The power is literally in your hands. Prevention is better than cure.